The Acts of Service Love Language can be a tricky one! Sometimes date night just isn’t enough. If you’re looking for some ideas, I have 101 acts of service ideas for your spouse to help you show your special someone just how much they mean to you.
Recently, I picked up a copy of the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts and read it cover to cover. It should come as no surprise that my “love language” is a frugal one: Words of Affirmation. My husband has the Acts of Service love language.
Thankfully his love language is also very budget-friendly, as most acts of service require little or no monetary cost, just time and effort!
I’ve been working lately on his love language. For a while, I fell into the bad habit of assuming that we spoke the same love languages.
I would tell him I love him all the time, but sometimes it just didn’t seem like enough.
Finally after reading the book, I realized that his love language requires me to not only tell him how much I love him, but show him through acts of service.
Does this mean that I am now my husband’s slave? Not at all! It simply means that I go out of my way now to show him that I care and that he’s on my mind.
I sat him down and asked what kind of things would show him that I loved him? Most of his responses were simple, thoughtful things that just showed him I was thinking about him.
I sat down to brainstorm some of these ideas, so that I would have a little running list of inspiration to refer to if I ever needed a little prompting.
I decided to share this list with my wonderful readers, because no matter what your love language is, sometimes its nice to do a little (or a big) something for someone else, whether for a special occasion, or just to show them you care!
What are The 5 Love Languages?
The Five Love Languages are based on a book by Gary Chapman by the same name. There’s SO much great info in this book about communication and how to express love in a way that ensures the recipient’s needs are met emotionally so that they feel the love. That’s the really short version.
The Five Love Languages are:
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation
What is the Acts of Service Love Language?
Actions speak louder than words for people whose Love Language is Acts of Service. They feel most loved when someone is doing things for them. The key thing to remember with the Acts of Service Love Language is “show, don’t tell”.
Well, that’s not entirely true, because you can TELL them also, but they need to SEE it in order to feel it.
Acts of Service don’t have to be grand sweeping gestures, in fact they are most effective when they are little, everyday “luxuries” for your partner.
It’s not about being their slave or taking on everything, but rather showing them you care by doing something a little extra to brighten their day.
Take the 5 Love Languages Quiz
If you haven’t yet done so, you and your partner need to find out what your Love Language is. To do that, you need to take the Love Language Quiz which you can find here on Gary Chapman’s website.
101 Acts of Service Ideas
1. Make them a cup of tea
2. Do a simple repair project off their to-do list
3. Make a favorite meal
4. Surprise them at work with their favorite coffee drink
5. Get an oil change for their car or do it yourself.
6. Make a special dessert
7. Have dinner ready when they get home
8. Walk the dog
9. Do their least-favorite chore for them
10. Put a love note in their lunch
11. Make them a lunch for work
12. Surprise them with their favorite treat
13. Let them choose the movie, complete with a themed gift basket (and actually enjoy watching it with them)
14. Give them uninterrupted video game time or time to watch a sporting event
15. Offer them a back rub
16. Draw them a bubble bath
17. Detail their car, inside and out
18. Warm a towel in the dryer for after their shower
19. Clean the cat litter box
20. Do an errand for them (like picking up dry cleaning)
21. Take out the trash
22. Make a donation in their name
23. Go to the museum or an exhibit they have been dying to see
24. Fold all the socks in their sock drawer
25. Pick up a small trinket they’d like but wouldn’t buy for themself
26. Shine their shoes
27. Bathe and groom the dog
28. Hold the doors open
29. Drop them off at the door and then park the car
30. Do the one thing they’ve been bugging you to do BEFORE they have to bug you again
31. Put the kids to bed
32. Pick up a bottle of their favorite wine or a case of their favorite beer.
33. Give them a night “off” to do whatever they want without complaint
35. Treat them to a night at a hotel
36. Get them new insoles for their shoes
37. Pick up their prescriptions
38. Make the phone call they’re avoiding (like calling your insurance company. Blegh)
39. Stop by during their lunch hour at work with lunch for two
40. Offer them a foot massage
41. Do something they forgot (without chastising)
42. Ask if they need you to pick anything up on the way home
43. Offer to take care of the kids if they normally do it
44. Bring them dinner if they have to work late
45. Bake them cupcakes
46. Iron their shirts
47. Bring them lemonade or ice water when they’re doing yard work
48. Clean their computer monitor
49. Be the designated driver so they can enjoy a couple cocktails on your next date night
50. Ask “how can I make your day better?”
51. Change a burnt-out light bulb
52. Let them park in the garage
53. Stargaze with them
54. Surprise them with a bonfire and s’mores
55. Leave thoughtful notes where they will see them
56. Send flowers to work
57. Frame their favorite inspirational quote
58. Buy them a greeting card just because
59. Wash their favorite coffee mug
60. Print and frame their favorite photo
61. Plan a romantic date night with their favorite things
62. Buy them lottery scratch off tickets
63. Untangle a mess of cords (like the ones behind their desk!)
64. Surprise them with a gift card for their favorite store
65. Shovel the snow for them without being asked
66. Write a love letter
67. Make them a mixed CD or a special iPod playlist
68. Create a scavenger hunt
69. Give them a mini-neck and shoulder massage at their desk
70. Bring treats for their office
71. Offer to hang out with their friends (without complaint!)
72. Load and unload the dishwasher
73. Look for opportunities to serve
74. Pamper them
75. Pick up a new pair of headphones for their iPod
76. Make them breakfast in bed
77. Make them breakfast not in bed. Bacon and cream cheese stuffed waffles perhaps?
78. Fresh squeeze orange juice
79. Play the role of sous chef-chop and prep while they cook
80. Take care of the bill paying (the actual act of mailing off bills or submitting payments online)
81. Go to their favorite concern (even if you’re wearing earplugs)
82. Organize a surprise party for their birthday (and take them out to enjoy some birthday freebies!)
83. Play bartender for their friends at your next get-together
84. Make them a healthy smoothie
85. Give them a pedicure
86. Remember to put the seat down
87. Make them a coupon book with coupons for various tasks or favors you’ll do
88. Do a flirty striptease for them
89. Plug in their phone if they forget
90. Say “Can I help you with that, honey?” and then do it!
91. Learn something new for them (their native language, how to operate a tablesaw, whatever you think they’d appreciate)
92. Subscribe them to a magazine they might like
93. Offer to wash their hair for them (this is not for everyone-anyone remember the Sex and the City Episode where Steve wanted to wash Miranda’s hair?)
94. Take over a project they’ve been putting off
95. Let them sleep in
96. Do all the legwork and research for an upcoming vacation with their likes in mind
97. Hire them a maid for a day, or better yet, deep clean the whole house top to bottom
98. Ask their advice and follow it without question
99. Seek opportunities to be helpful (grab their coat or purse for them, bring them the cup they forgot in the other room, etc.)
100. Thank them for the acts of service they do for you.
101. Help them come up with 101 Acts of Service ideas for their blog post (Thank you honey!)
Even though Valentine’s Day has come and gone, you can still focus on serving your spouse or significant other. If Acts of Service is YOUR Love Language, maybe send your sweetheart the link to this post as a gentle nudge in the right direction.
Don’t forget to “pin” it on Pinterest to make sure you can find these ideas later!
If you have a favorite act of service that I missed, tell us about it in the comments!
What other Acts of Service ideas can you think of?